A Leader’s Confidentiality: The 3 Mistakes Leaders Make that Hurt their People, Team, and Organization

The word “Confidential” used to be the center of my universe! If you don’t know, before I started my company, You Evolving Now, and became a Professional Speaker, Author, & Leadership Trainer; I was a Mental Health Therapist. For 19 years, I walked various journeys with individuals from all walks of life: children, adults, gang members, sex offenders, their victims, families, husbands, wives, the elderly, etc. I loved the job and I thought I’d retire from the profession until I burnt-out and it became time to walk journeys with people in a different way!

During those 19 years, “Confidentiality” was a huge part of the process and continues to be in Leadership. I used to begin my initial session with clients by introducing myself, asking what they wanted to get out of working with me, what they liked about their past therapists, what they’d change, and explaining confidentiality. I was not allowed to share what clients said in sessions unless it involved them planning to harm others or themselves… and I’d conclude by explaining my process if I’d ever deemed it necessary to break confidentiality.

Throughout nearly twenty years as a therapist, you can imagine, I’ve had to break confidentiality on numerous occasions… but it didn’t stop at therapy! I chose to break confidentiality later when I was promoted to a Leadership Position and then again as an entrepreneur and business owner… and you will to in order to uphold the definition of Leadership”: positive influence, impact, decide, protect, and maintaining high standards and expectations.

As a Therapist, I still remember clear as day a mother bringing her teenage son in. She was a sweet woman who cared for her kids and was a model client. The young man was polite, talkative, engaging, and I enjoyed our sessions. One day, he shared that he liked a young lady he met in the community. As he continued, he shared he planned to visit her that evening. He then proceeded to show me his bookbag, which he’d never brought to a session before. He calmly opened his bag, showed me handcuffs, a mask, and Map Quested directions to the young lady’s house, and his plans to attack her that evening. WHAT!!! I can feel your reaction as you read this. Of course, as a Mandated Reporter, his mother was made aware, and we followed the Duty to Warn protocol.

This is an extreme case of breaking confidentiality that I hope you never have to experience, but I was glad it was me receiving the information, not an inexperienced or unmotivated therapist. As a Leader within your organization, your experiences may be less dramatic, but still as important!

When I was promoted to a Leadership position, clients/patients would at times share with me inappropriate acts by staff members. Yes, the client’s reaction may have been out of proportion, but what would you do if you had no power, a history of being victimized, plus a mental health condition? Just because staff were staff didn’t mean they were always right. Therefore, I choose to conduct mediations between the two parties to resolve the issue, and if not resolved, share it with someone higher than me to follow through and follow up.

Lastly, as an entrepreneur and business owner! When I first started my business, it was just me… and anything and everything that went right, wrong, slow, fast, or any which way was on me. As businesses and companies grow, you have the privilege of adding amazing people and processes… and there are major successes, but also growing pains. In any healthy company, when one person or department sees issues with a process, they say something to someone who can actually help… not gossiping or venting to a coworker who can’t do anything about the problem. It’s my job and your job as a Leader to hear it, consume it, address it, and evolve it!

There will come a time when an Employee comes to you to share gossip or concern about a fellow Employee… perhaps they’re falling short on projects, not living up to the company standard, perceived to be under the influence while at work, seems depressed, I could go on, but you get my point. Some of these examples do not mean you have to mention the name of the person who provided the information. It does mean the person witnessing it has the RESPONSIBILITY to follow-through and tell a Leader and when that Leader is YOU, you have the same RESPONSIBILITY to follow-through to address the issue as your company policy states and swiftly.

Sometimes confidentiality may involve protecting others from your Employees. Perhaps someone shares with you that they overheard Mark saying he’s going to shoot up the building if he receives one more email in all caps. The Employee tells you, but they don’t want to be involved. What’s your company policy? Have you prefaced it with your Team? Are you willing to follow through with a difficult conversation at the minimum, and with your company’s mental health services or disciplinary processes at the most?

Perhaps an Employee approaches you to share information about another Employee or Leader that is distasteful at best or illegal at worst and the behavior in question risks the reputation of the company… a Leader physically and/verbally abusing subordinates, drug use, trading company information to competitors… and they don’t want their name in the mix?

You have the option to agree to keep their name out of it, however that’s not a promise as the magnitude of the situation gets bigger and bigger. Or you can follow the process of:

Thank them for coming to you
State they are free to share with you; if the behavior they’re sharing involves a threat to Employees, Others, or the Company you may not be able to keep it to yourself and may be obligated to break confidentiality
Allow them to choose if they’d like to continue

It may sound as if this flow will discourage them from telling you necessary information. However, in 19 years as a Therapist I cannot tell you how many people we saved from suicide, homicide, and further self-harm because they told, after understanding the rule of confidentiality. In my business, I can’t tell how many processes we’ve been able to make more seamless externally for our customers and internally for our Team and Departments because someone was willing to speak up and knew follow-through would be expedient.

So, what are the 3 BIG mistakes Leaders make that hurt their People, Team, & Organization regarding confidentiality?

They fail to preface what confidentiality means and how it works!
They fail to share the BIG 3!
They fail to follow-through!

Preface!

As the Leader of your Team, explain what confidentiality means, how it will work, and what your process will be if you have to break it and feel free to provide examples.

Share The BIG 3!

When you see something or hear something that is a threat to an:

Employee
Others
The Company
 

Say something to someone who can help: your boss, immediate supervisor, HR, etc. Documenting via email is best; as an undocumented conversation never happened!


Follow-Through!

Prefacing and Sharing the BIG 3 sets the standards and expectations you value; but without follow-through it’s just talk. Leaders understand, talk doesn’t deepen trust, actions do… Be Mindful! Remember, as a Leader you’re in the People-Business and protection is a key word that's often left out of Leadership… protecting our people, ourselves, our clients/customers, and the reputation of our organization!

 
You now know A Leader’s Confidentiality, what was your BIGGEST Takeaway? How do you plan to utilize your BIGGEST Takeaway and implement it into your schedule as a Leader?

 

“Leaders understand, talk doesn’t deepen trust, actions do… Be Mindful!”

– Andre Young

 
Written by: Andre Young